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Love and Betrayal Chapter 6

SENDOH'S ACCEPTANCE

Rukawa just stood there, his blue gaze had that faraway look.

< You are now free Rukawa, as I am of you >

< Free >

It keeps on repeating itself inside his brain, still unable comprehend the events that had happened. [No, it’s not true. Have I lost my Hana?] He vaguely felt Hana’s hands leaving his and his eyes dimly saw a silhouette of a redhead running away from him. [A redhead… My Hana has red hair… My Hana… < I love you too, Kaede >… < All I ever was to you was a possession >… … [Goodbye? What did you mean by that Hana? Are you leaving me? No! I won’t let you. You belong to me… I can’t let you go… Don’t you know how much I love you?] “Hana…?” He called. No answer… Focusing his eyes, he scanned his surroundings for a redhead. None… A tall spiky hair person is still there standing but a few feet away from him, but his Hana is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly… comprehension… his Hana is gone. He left because of him. He had hurt Hana. The one who he’d promised to himself he’d never hurt.

“HANAMICHI!” He shouts into the darkness. Then he slumped forward with his palms pressed on the ground. Tears are flowing down his face. His sobs echoing the pain and emptiness he feels in his heart.

After his bombshell, Sendoh had been a silent observer between the two lovers. He had felt that he’d be happy just by seeing the two separated. He wanted to hurt Kaede like he had hurt him. Make him pay for the cold callous way he had thrown him aside. But deep inside, he just wanted Kaede back. Still do, but he didn’t think that is possible now, not anymore. Especially since he saw just how Kaede really felt about his ‘aho. He still feels the slight pricks of jealousy but the hostility was not there anymore. After seeing Sakuragi’s reaction from his revelation, he was kinna guilty himself. The redhead was just an unknowing victim. Someone caught in the middle between two ‘lust-sick’ individuals in their youth. Now, seeing how he had broken two hearts in one night for just opening up the past, Sendoh can’t help but feel that he’s responsible for the whole thing. The unhappiness the two is obviously feeling right now, was his undoing. Accepting that fact, he went to where his ex-lover is, still on his knees and sobbing painfully. He wanted to comfort him. [I still love him, but I know that I can’t win him back. Not after tonight. No, that’s a mistake… I never did have him… not his heart anyway] Sighing softly to himself, he bended his knees and slowly helped the raven head guy to his feet.

Looking at the tear stained face, he wondered how someone so cold and detach can be reduced to someone like this – broken and despaired. Gently he hugged the sobbing boy to him, rubbing his back to console him somehow. They stayed like that for a while.

After a few moments, Sendoh felt himself being pushed away roughly and a fist connected to his jaw for the second time that night. He staggered backwards and said, “What the hell is your problem Kaede!”

Deep blue gaze focused on him. “Don’t touch me Sendoh and don’t call me like that again!” Threatened a very angry raven head.

Rubbing his bruised jaw, “Nice to see you back to your old self Rukawa.”

“So are you happy now Sendoh?” Rukawa sneered. Looking at Sendoh with hate in his eyes.

“Happy?” He chuckled. “No I am not. I’m sorry Rukawa, I am not as unfeeling as you sometimes seem to be.”

“Don’t compare me to you.”

Knowing that Rukawa is beyond reasoning, he sighed and resigned himself to saying, “I’m sorry Rukawa. I really am. I did not intend Sakuragi to be hurt like this, or you.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little bit too late for that?”

“…”

“Why did you come back Sendoh?” Rukawa questioned.

Smiling a little, “I came to win you back.”

Rukawa raised an eyebrow upon hearing that remark. “Did you think I’d go back to you even if I didn’t have Hana in my life?”

“…”

“You’re a fool Sendoh. Did you know why I broke up with you?”

“No. You were never really clear on that matter. All you said was that, it’s over and walked away. After that I left for America.”

“You still want to know?”

Sendoh looked straight at his ex-lover and said, “Yes I do.”

“I did not love you.” He stated calmly.

Sendoh already knew what his answer would be and yet the pain is still there. “Yeah I know. But I never stopped hoping.”

Rukawa’s face softened somehow upon seeing the hurt expression on his ex- lover’s smiling face. “If it’s any consolation, I did try. But there was always him. I can’t forget him. I was already hooked right from the start.”

Seeing the thoughtful expression from Rukawa’s face. “You really love him don’t you?”

“He’s my life.” He softly confessed. [But he’s gone now. God how can I ever get him back?] He silently prayed, looking up.

He would have wanted to leave Rukawa there and then, to leave him with his pain, but he feels that he needs to correct the mistake he had done tonight. Isn’t there a saying that < as long as the one you love is happy then you’re happy too >? [Stupid saying] But it holds some truth for him somehow.

“Rukawa… Rukawa…” he called twice. Rukawa suddenly had a faraway look on his face. Glancing at his eyes, he saw pain and remorse clearly mirrored there. He felt the old familiar feeling of guilt rising inside him again. Mentally cursing himself, he inched closer to the guy and taps him lightly on the shoulder. “Rukawa, aren’t you gonna look for Sakuragi?”

Rukawa’s eyes focused on him but the pain is still evident. “He hates me.” He said.

Sendoh detected the defeated tone in Rukawa’s voice and couldn’t help but feel sorry again for the pain he had caused. “No, he loves you.”

“…”

“I guess you just need to give him time. Time to sort things out for himself. We did something horrible to him, you know. Well you did, I only helped on the first part.” He tried joking but later regretted saying them. Rukawa’s face clouded with pain even more with the remembrance of what he did to his Hana. “Ok, bad joke.”

Suddenly, Sendoh playfully threw an arm over the other’s shoulder and said, “Come on, I’ll help you look for your boyfriend.”

That sudden action brought Rukawa out of his misery for a moment. “What? Did all those fume in your hair finally got inside your head?”

“No it did not.” He countered. “I just want to help you.”

Still not convinced. “Why?”

“Well, I kinna feel guilty being behind all this and I wanna make it up to you somehow.” He said grinning.

Rukawa looked at him suspiciously. Thinking that Sendoh might be up to something again. “You’re not up to something again, are you?”

“No I am not. I said I was sorry already.”

“…”

“Ok ok” he sighed. “I love you Kaede, sorry bout that old habit.” He raised his hand in a gesture of apology. “I really do, but I know that I’ll just be fighting a loosing battle and the looser will be me. So, I figured… If I am not the one to give you happiness then at least let me try to ‘bring’ you back ‘your’ happiness.” He continued seriously.

The fox-eyed boy sensed the sincerity behind those words and felt that at least one problem has been solved. “Thank you Sendoh and I am sorry for hurting you.” He said. His lips curving up a little to give the guy before him a small smile of gratitude.

Sendoh gasped at that sight. A small smile coming from those lips were like magic for him. Never had Rukawa smiled for him, till now. Returning that smile with one of his he said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For smiling… You never smiled for me before…”

Those lips now formed a thin straight line as he glared at the guy before him. “Stop that. You’re flirting.”

“Huh?” Sendoh said incredulously. Realizing what he had meant, “No I was not flirting. I was really thanking you. But on second thought… would that get me anywhere with you?”

“Just as far as the ground you’re standing on Sendoh.” Rukawa threatened.

Sendoh laughed at how Rukawa looked so serious and prepared for something all of a sudden. “You are one piece of work Kaede Rukawa. Come on, let’s find your beloved.”

And the pair went off to the night in search for a redhead.

******************************

SDFA © 2002 fgg



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