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You left that cold melancholy night without a word.
I woke up in bed alone, without you by my side.
The silence was unnerving. In the middle of the night, where could you be?
I stumbled out of bed and proceeded to search the whole house frantically. As it would be, I never found you.
But as I threw open your wardrobe, I knew for sure that you were gone. I looked at my ruffled and hollow self in the mirror. I hated my reflection. Smashing a fist at the mirror, it cracked as my heart shattered. From my hand blood trickled down, serving only as a release for my betrayed mind.

You never made any promises. You never would say you would be there for me always. I was always hidden, obscure in your shadow as you stand tall and silent, emitting a strong aura of self-confidence and cool arrogance. I walked the path you did but it was not as bright for me. You had everything; Talent, looks and opportunities. Why you fancied me still remains a mystery. Many are baffled by your choice. You told me not to listen to the bitter and harsh words of others. I taught myself to be strong, to be able to stand against any vicious attacks just to stay by your side. I should be content.

But lately I feel your interest diminishing. Am I only but a fleeting affair?
You seemed ever so distracted and cold whenever I tried to start a conversation. You would evade everything with a careless shrug or an unfeeling stare.
It hurts to be treated this way by someone I thought loved me. But I never gave up, I did my best to accommodate you and accept your behavior.

You got busier as you got famous. I could only stand at the sidelines or sit in the up at the audience stand, watching you as you improved rapidly, gaining fame and fans. I am not afraid to admit the uneasiness I feel everytime I am present at any of your matches. The disconcerted and scornful glares directed at me were like sharp daggers stabbing at me from all directions. You ask me why am I so affected, I did not answer you because you looked away immediately after asking the question casually. You did not care.

Do you know how much it bothers me to see your name linked up with any renowned female star that crosses your path? In the news always are gossip articles of you if not about your achievements.

I feared you would leave me. My fear grew each day and if I fail to see you each night with me in our apartment, I hated how my imagination would run recklessly wild. But whatever it is, now you are gone.

I just recently read about you being accepted into the NBA. That has been your most passionate ambition. I am glad for you, Kaede.

I think about how calm you would be in spite of this great honor. Your cobalt blue eyes that never failed to make me self-conscious. That expressionless face that lit up so rarely in the time of our relationship.

Did you really love me? Did you really care?
I do not believe those words you whispered whenever we had sex. I did, and I still regret it.

And as I stand here, at the airport, with regained dignity, self-respect and courage, I await your return.
I received your email yesterday. You told me to be there to wait for you.
Fine, so here I am. I see you walking out of the gates, heading towards me, totally ignoring your fans and the press. Your gaze raked me from top to toe. I am unwavering as I met your eyes steadily.

"Welcome back, Kaede."

"Hanamichi… I missed you."


I smile. My heart had been broken, how true.

But right this sec, right now, I can't wait to tell you I didn't cry when you left that cold emotionless night.




Irony © 2002 Keax-XV

SDFA © 2002 fgg

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