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My Heaven and I


('Since when did Rukawa look so…breathtaking?') He could feel his throat constricting from his own ragged breaths, sweat drenching his palms as his heart continued to thump louder with each second.

Rukawa suddenly turned his eyes towards Hanamichi's; he felt his breath catch in his throat and his eyes widen as wide as saucers.

('What is this feeling…It's like…I'm drowning in those eyes…') The two kept staring at each other for what seemed like eternity for both of them. Everyone kept silent, obviously affected by the sudden spark of energy between blue-eyed fox and the red-headed do'aho. The feeling was overwhelming, like they were drawing strength from each other; like there was an invisible exchange of feelings and emotions between them.

((end of flashback))


I sat there beside his weather-beaten bed, staring at his face of angel-like perfection…Keade…my rival, my friend…my lover. His ocean blue eyes were hiding beneath those perfect lashes in a perfect picture of tranquility, as he was - I'm sure - lost in his own dreams. I held his hand lightly once again, wishing to feel the warmth of his skin next to mine once more.

The day was perfectly still and everything was silent except for the steady rhythm of the beeps emanating from his heart monitor. I told him not to overwork himself…but Kaede is so…passionate with everything that he enjoys…from basketball, to music, to our relationship…

Open your eyes Kaede…I want to look into your eyes…I want to drown in those eyes once again…


Dusk has fallen when I awoke…it was dark indeed but in no way gloomy - the moment I saw my red-head beside me, a surge of warmth and light enveloped my worn out spirit. I'm tired of fighting for my life ever since the accident…and if I'm only free to choose - I'd choose to die instead. But the thing is, I'm not free to…I've already committed my whole being to him - my Hana-kun - and I know he does not want me to die. And so here I am, lying in a well furnished but rather dim-spirited hospital room with all kinds of monitors wired to my body, trying to get my life back. I stroked his hair with my fingers, glad that I have the strength to at least do that as I tried to open my eyes more. Damn it…they've injected too much anesthetic on me and now I'm having difficulty in staying awake. I don't want to sleep yet, not when I haven't heard my red-head's voice for days.

I want to tell you…I want to tell you how much I love you…but every time I try to, words only get in the way…that's why, I hope you understand, that I'm trying to fight for my life to show you my love, because I know - you love me more than I do myself...


When I opened my eyes from my rather light slumber, I felt a familiar sensation of warmth surge throughout my body…


The moment I raised my head, I met his eyes in an unspoken profession of love…

…This feeling…after all this time, I'm still drowning in those eyes…

His eyes suddenly shot wide open when he saw me wake up.

"Kaede, you're awake…" I said, brushing his hair off his eyes.

"Aa…" he just nodded, "and you've been asleep…"

"I…dreamt of something…something strange…and scary too, in a way…"


"I dreamt an angel came and wanted to take you away…"

I felt his hand tense against mine the moment I said that…I know he is not afraid of death - but I also know he's afraid to be without me.

"What…did the angel say?"

"Nothing," I shrugged, "I sent him away…"

"You, sent him away?"

I held his hand tightly and smiled.

"Yes…I told him that they already have their heaven…and it isn't fair to take mine away…"





My Heaven and I © 2002 MitsuiSelphie

SDFA © 2002 fgg

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